I always wondered why there are always more women in church. Me being a man I always think they are personally in love with the pastor. I have women cousins who tell me about their pastor/reverend/leader sermon each sunday like they just found the pot of gold. I almost bet you that the majority of people you know who are really churchy happen to be women. There is something there that I just can’t figure out. Of course I think of it as some kind of weakness but that’s just me being chauvinist…..
So I’ll start from a guys point of view on the church. I’m sure like most men my ego dictates a lot of my life. I think I have the answers to most things effecting me and if I don’t then I’ll figure it out through experience. I never like to really admit that I need help and in fact I would much rather fall flat on my face than ask for it. My only prayer to God is that I realize the strength already inside of me and to ask that any favor intended for me be directed towards my family and friends. I have always felt I was built to take the blows of this world and to take them showed what kind of man I am. Now I am not saying I feel like I don’t need God I guess I just feel if there is a bad time to come let it fall on me. I never really feel the need to go to Church and I don’t find comfort listening to the preacher on things I can discern for myself.
For women I consulted my mother on this and she told me women can easily admit that they can’t do it alone. She said they don’t usually have to be humbled like men in order to see that God is and has been always looking out for them. She feels women go to church because they enjoy the community of church and like to feel there is a place where they can go to work out their problems. She ended by saying most men especially young men feel they are invincible and that is why you don’t see them at church.
So from that I gather women just feel more comfortable there. It actually doesn’t bother me because I think women are the teachers of our children and humility and having a place for God in our lives is not bad at all. I know Jesus in many women’s lives is the only man like God figure that hasn’t let them down.
Solution: Heck if I know what women think about anything. I’m just the guy who sits back and watches the generations of women who are in the pews. I look around and wonder are all the guys here because they promised they would come just like me. Did their mother guilt them into coming with them because she told me some old guy was hitting on her. I leave this open to my women bloggers here and please don’t make it a preach fest full of bible verses.
Look Mom No Cursing!
I haven’t been to church as a “regular” in 20 years… I always thought I would go back when I got married. Me, my husband, our children, as a family in the church.
Well.. I’m not married, and so I still don’t go. I haven’t found a church that feels like home, then again, I’m not looking for one. Other then the occassional wedding or funeral or baptismal at various churches, you won’t see my face in a pew.
Pretty much every Sunday I think, hmmm… I should find a church. But I haven’t.
I haven’t a clue. I wasn’t raised to think of a pastor as some sort of saint. I also wasn’t raised in a go to church every Sunday read the Bible all of the time environment. In fact, both of my parents have become more spiritual in the last few years and it’s still odd to me hearing them talk about God and blessings and whatnot.
Frankly, many of the churches I visited when I was trying to find that nebulous “church home” the pastors all seemed slimy and shyster-like to me. So I basically decided that my home would be my “church home” and that’s pretty much been that….
i love church. now, if you know a thing about me, you know my love ain’t easy… i’m highly critical of “the church” as an institution and of my church, in particular, because i am engaged with it and without constant critique and adjustment, church will become stagnant, stale and irrelevant. i’m a person with a strong spirit, deep faith and i thrive in intellectually stimulating arenas, so my church has to speak to those things. my pastor has to be intelligent and charismatic (biblically charismatic). s/he must be humble and surround her/himself with and encourage diverse and capable leadership within the church. additionally, a church where i am a member must be a socially conscious and culturally aware church where empowerment and uplifting community programs are priorities. i say all that because it really pains me that there aren’t more congregations like that… that ego and greed have corrupted that and that more and more, slimy (often male) pastors are personifying their churches. the church is supposed to be a bride of Christ and the BODY of people gathered for worship and work of the God and His Kingdom. too bad more folks aren’t exposed to that. for me, this church is doing a good job: http://www.gracebapt.org
now, on some woman stuff: i grew up in the church and when i came of age to decide if i’d stay there, after much consideration and exploration, i’m sticking by it. my faith is my core and going to fellowship at a good church is part of my practice of that faith. i think neither my faith, nor it’s practice is for everyone. it just works for me.
because churches tend to be filled with women, church (and within my family of faithful church-going folk) is where i learned how to be a strong, articulate, cooperative, compassionate, disciplined, thoughtful, kind, generous, critical person. and when i looked around, i saw beautiful black women all around me showing me how to be that way. they were my examples on how to be a woman of grace, a wife of honor and a mother of love. it’s important to have that community. church provides that and i can admit that i need that… life’s too short and too hard not to go somewhere at least once a week where you feel affirmed and encouraged and supported.
church is a safe haven. i feel good there, and i go there for a variety of things – renewal, hope, education, help – and to feel good. and it’s one of those places where i go and i don’t even think of myself as a woman. i’m just a child of God and that feels good. i go because i need it, and quite frankly, when it comes time to choose a mate, i can’t say with certainty that i’d be willing to build a life with a man who cannot humble himself before the Lord and accept that there is more to life than what exists outside himself… that he does not have all the answers… that he cannot do this thing called life WELL alone. if he can accept those things, but doesn’t go to church, i’m not going to force him to. i don’t have that kind of energy. as for my children, when i have some, it’s my job to raise those children as i see fit for their good. they’ll be going to church, but that’s not the end of their faith education. we’ll pray in the home. they’ll know there are other faith options and manifestations of worship.
God, despite the rumors and allegations, is not a God of forced worship. Maybe God is like a woman in that way… it’s not about all the stuff that men tend to make it about. God just wants your love, affection and attention.
m dot
Man I have been going down your list of recent posts since I havn’t stopped by in a while, and I can’t find one I don’t want to comment on. All of them are spot on. You have a gift man. I enjoy reading your points of view because they are so honest and so true. So count this as a comment on all your recent posts.
Keep up the good work.
thats refreshing, cause personally, i dont have no answers, thats why i read, guess its the scientist in me, i have questions and plausibles ways to answer the queries – but never answers
i love going to church to hear the word of God because although what they say is common sense, hearing what the bible says is a solution to a problem has always fascinated me. i take notes and everything. lol
i don’t go to church often though because i don’t like to get caught up in the nonsense and there’s always some nonsense going on. i just go when i feel the urge to do so.
i don’t think going to church or having religion makes women weak minded either. if anything, i think it makes us stronger because it takes a strong person to have faith in and hold onto something that they can’t see, hear, or touch
@RMom – Well at least you think about going. I don’t go at all unless it’s by special request from someone in my family. Now don’t get me wrong I can see why people go it’s just doesn’t make me want to go.
@Sassy – I agree with you 100% but I think me thinking they are all con men is something I conjured up. When you see people collecting money but you don’t see any improvement you automatically go with a CON. The only time I ever even feel pressure is when someone older asks me what’s my church home. So I usually make up something like Double Rock AME of San Mateo or something.
@MDot – “i can’t say with certainty that i’d be willing to build a life with a man who cannot humble himself before the Lord” I have heard that before. That will be another post for me to talk about.
Well it’s good to know you have had a enriching experience with the church. Maybe what the church presents to women and what is for men are just two different things. When I go I feel someone is jacking me for money and I am being forced to go against my will aka Religious Kidnapping!
@DRed – Thanks for falling through folk! It’s funny to hear it’s a gift when my whole life probably people have wondered why I think about so many varied things. You have to put me on your RSS feed man you know I try to drop something every MWF, except Holidays.
@Raw – Someone has to do the research and someone has to make the decision. I feel that as Black Folk no one wants to just say go this way with it. We always sit back with options and no one wants to take the blame for executing. Well call me the executioner!
@Keish -I was always shocked at people who took notes but I guess you take to it like class. Well I’m glad you’re finding solutions because it actually complicates things to me. I actually think all this Man made customs clouds our vision of God, but that’s just me.
As a Man asking for help is a sign of weakness it tends to show we are unprepared and ill suited to lead so that’s what I mean by that. I’m not the churchy guy so I won’t get into believing in something you can’t see hear or touch as a sign of strength.
oh lawd… anytime FreeMan quotes MDot and promises a future blog something is brewing… LOL!
Praise the Lord and pass the communion wine.
LMBO!
mdot
FreeMan…I have been to my church four times since my auto accident in September. Not because of anything with God or going to church, but this church I go to have too much confusion. It’s one of those family churches and you know that is ALL CHIEFS and no Indians. I praise God, read my bible and study it, post about God and the spoken word, listen to great praise and inspiration jubilee songs, BUT I ain’t about NO DRAMA and I sure as Hell is not about to go to church that is. My momma has been guilt tripping me to go to church again which I miss the fellowship and open dialogue in sunday school. I did go to bible study last Wednesday night. I personally want to go to church to learn and if I can’t learn then I wouldn’t go. As you might can tell I LOVE the discussion factor because their are so many misconceptions being taught and in church I can’t interupt the preacher and say “NOPE THAT WRONG THAT VERSE MEANT LOL”. SO yesterday while I was at church I sang and clapped my hands and got my two step on. But when it came time for the preacher to speak I didn’t fall for the “feeling good shouts and throwing hints at the congregation” I stuck to reading the word in a translation I could understand and studied each verse and read the wholel chapter on the book in which he was coming out of not just the few verses designed for the “subject” but the before and afters of what the essence of that CHAPTER was and soul was SO FULL OF THE SPIRIT OF GOD THAT I JUST SHOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-ps didn’t proofread. please take all mistakes for LOVE lol!!!!
There’s nearly no straight men (yeah I touched on that one!) at church because the Black church is all about drama. I came to the conclusion a few months ago, (during one of my “guest appearances” that I do once a month to keep my wife from whining about it) that the reason there are nearly no men at church is because men generally hate drama. Women on the other hand, love drama. Go to ANY stage play and notice how the crowd looks just like your average church.
If you think I’m wrong just do this experiment: ask any church-going female how many Tyler Perry films/plays she’s seen. Next ask any non-church-going male the same question. If the number is about equal, then feel free to say Carl is full of sh*t.
@MDot – Aren’t you glad I am a good listener! I sometimes pick up on people’s responses in blogs and it pisses me off. Then I take the pissing me off feeling and immediately write down a new post. Then after the water starts to boil I add the vegetables. That’s my whole recipe for writing my posts.
@Freedom – I guess the difference is exactly what Carl said that women like drama and men can’t stand it. I say this because you seem to know it’s BS but you still listen to the preacher even though you tune him out by reading the whole chapter. I hope you get up and become a preacher someday then all of this Religious posts I write can reach at least one preacher.
@Carl – You are a funny cat man! Every time you respond I can imagine someone throwing a ball at a carnival. You know the type of guy who is really trying to murder the milk jugs to win a 1 dollar tiger.
Well now I’m definitely never going to church because I don’t want my straightness questioned! LOL I might have to conduct your experiment but I am sure you are right on. So to you it all boils down to DRAMA. WOW!
Man I ain’t even throwing hard! But I do hit the target, and I usually don’t even wait around for the prize.
Yes DRAMA! It’s just another stage play.
@FreeMan…the spoken “WORD” is NOT BS, don’t get it twisted. But if you are going to teach it Damn THANG then teach it and leave out your own misinterpution that is usually Wrong and you have your “sheep” misquoting and misliving all because the preacher has NOT studied to “Show themselves approved”! Yes, I had to throw a one little banal bible verse up in the mix lol, but it was soooo needed to be said.
Okay just gotta touch on this statement “I know Jesus in many women’s lives is the only man like God figure that hasn’t let them down.” Remember I posted about this awhile ago that long post asked you to read lol THANK YOU! I think Judith Couchman summed it perfectly for women to understand when she said, “When we place godlike expectations on men-when we want them to make up for what’s missing inside of us-they can’t help but disappoint us. God formed them from the earth’s dust, and in the way of all idols, they will eventually crumble. With this in mind, we can place men where they rightfully belong: not above us, not below us, but alongside us as partners in living. Ironically, when we give up our great expectations for and about men, everybody relaxes and our relationships with them improve.”
@FreeMan…Do you think my congregration would be ok with me preaching the Word to them “Uncut, (with Cursing) but to the point and seeking solutions!?!” LMAO!!!!
Wanna know the real reason more women go to church – that’s because the church caters to women. For real. Think about it. Lifting your hands – hugging visitors – showing “feminist” emotion – saying I love you to Jesus – picturing Jesus in all white gliding across water – being very free, open, and showing tons of emotion – women get off on that kinda stuff – not men. Some men do – but the majority of men don’t. That kinda stuff is great for women – waving your hands – holding your neighbor’s hands – swaying back and forth – shouting and singing – that’s all stuff that fits a woman’s characteristics so much easier than it done a man’s.
Just my two cents…but I’m a church boy at heart – and I’m gay – so I don’t mind either of these – lol.
Me? I have been to a few churchs coming form a family that is catholic, 7 Day, and Baptist.
1- I have a problem with authority. So a preacher telling me anything is not going to work.
2- Not enough solutions out side the bible presented for community problems.
3- Dont like being told what I already know.
4- Dont trust the preacher.
@Carl – LMAO “Drama” the stage play now playing at the Apollo.
@Freedom – I don’t mean the gospel is BS I mean the way the guy is delivering it to you is BS. To me that’s why Men will walk out and stay out of the church because we have issues with people who are side shows. Yes, I remember you saying Jesus is the only man most women can depend on I was just relating it to another reason women go to church.
@Freedom – I think if you gave it to them raw with cursing you would get a lot of younger people in the church. I tell you what you’ll get some men to come in there too because they would be happy someone is not trying to sugarcoat it. Everyone loves the truth it’s just trying to be nice at the same time throws in making sure everyone feels happy about their fucked up life.
@DTWilliams – Well if you break it down that way I guess it does sound pretty feminine. I think you have to have a certain ability to take BS and side show shenanigans in order to endure the 2 to 3 hours. Don’t worry your two cents count here it might not buy you that much but the key word in FreeMan Press is FREE! Thanks for the Donation! LOL
@Mike – I think your 4 must be the 4 reasons why men don’t attend church. I agree with you totally. It’s one thing to feel good but it’s another to produce something tangible. Maybe its just Men are more external results oriented.
@FreeMan and the Men bloggers…so what do you think a man’s church should be like? He has one, if it’s not the one that we women go to than where and what is it! Because regardless of Jesus y’all men believe in GOD and that’s the TRUTH! Is it yall boy’s night out? Is that yall church?
Y’all Men have church believe dat! Women just aren’t invited! So we go to as T-Pain said in song “Church!”…
@Freedom – THE BLOG EVOLVES! maybe you can make this a post on your blog but I’ll respond to it now.
First church needs to be only 30 to 45 minutes long.
Second if you really want people to go put it on Saturday Night so I don’t have to miss my sports.
Third just read the book no one trusts your interpretation because who the hell made you GOD.
Fourth stop the hugging kissing touching stuff Men get to know each other through circumstances not just by putting us next to each other we aren’t in a DAMN sandbox.
Fifth give us a mission, something to build that allows us to be men and use our muscles.
Sixth stop dancing and speaking in tongues and trying to make it a fashion show.
Seventh realize we don’t really want to be here stop wasting our DAMN time.
@FreeMan…I don’t think I said Jesus is the ONLY man that most woman can depend on. If I did that is NOT what I meant. God created you Men in HIS IMAGE so there is NO WAY men should be viewed at as NOT being dependable. Men were given the authority to Lead us woman and to protect us and love us as you LOVE yourselves. So by doing that men are showing Jesus thru themelves in the form of a MAN!
You know.. Now that I read Mike’s #4… I feel that way too. I have met 2 “preachers” in the last 5 years that wanted to date me, and they were both freaky, had dirty little secrets and were so not boyfriend material. I think they get a big head having all those women after them so they think they can do whatever they want.
OK. no verses, I promise. Why does it appear that there are more women in church than men? – good question – it sickens me actually. Not to mention, some of the males you do see are dripping with S*CURL, and designed in something FIERCE!!!… let me chill
I think the main reason is the lack of a spiritual connection (discipline, faithfullness & diligence) to GOD command. Adult males with child like minds have made a conscious decision to subtract GOD from their “life equation” – impossible. My opinion on your topic is that our young women are raising young men without the existence of a man in the household to teach and reinforce the need to embrace GOD’s will, and guidance. That MAN led the household and set precedence for the young men to follow. I can only comment from my experience as you have, and for me church was not bounded to a 3 hour Sunday session – it was a frequent event that my Grandfather, Great Uncles, and Uncles encouraged us to embrace as well as the women. Church was a place to learn and enjoy in fellowship. Fortunately, the church I attended growing up challenged us mentally and physically in/out of the church “building”, vs. gave us that since of “go through the practive of just showing up”. Church for the men in my family, was Sunday school, public readings, Bible Study, Homecomings, Summer Bible School, XMAS plays, Mens Day, Talent shows, Food Market participation, Ushering, Carpentry, praying, feeding the less fortunate “food on wheels”, singing, and giving verbal feedback on lessons taught. Away from the church, men shared their spirit and thanks to GOD’s by open discussions in the yard, a lesson while working around the house, reading the bible after an evening meal.
All of the previously mentioned acts by these men displayed their obedience to GOD, and efforts of assembling us together in public worship. A lot of our men today unfortunately look at GOD’s commandments as a burden vs. as a guidance on how to live.
Your thoughts?
SAK@Freedom – Ok, I like the updated explanation anyway. Follow The Leader! LOL
@RMom – I don’t really care for preachers but sometimes I think people forget they are men too. It’s only disapointing because of the position they hold but they are men. I say that to say as a woman you would protect yourself from predators normally I don’t think it’s disrespectful to understand and prevent undisciplined male tendencies.
@SAKing – I especially agree that men see GOD’s commandments as a burden vs as guidance on how to live. I think the erosion of a two parent family has made most young men not see a true place for them in the church. They don’t see a strong example of a Man there so logically it is inferred that maybe strong men don’t belong there. I accept your premise and to tell you the truth that seems to be the best explanation for why women dominate the church.
@FreeMan… LOL! I WILL ONLY FOLLOW A LEADER THAT IS SERVING THE LORD OR HAVE THE WILLINGNESS TO WANT TO KNOW THIS GOD THAT I SERVE!
Why more women in church?
Single men
-Get home at 3:30 Sunday morning from the club.
-Wake up at 6 am for the early service.
-Decide to get out of bed at 9:30 for the 10 am service.
-Watch the pre-game show on Fox or ESPN.
-Realize that it is now 4:30 pm and that they’ve missed church … again.
- 6 pm; Lie to mother, telling her that they went to a friends church across town.
-6:02 pm; Mother asks who won each game.
Single women
-Arrive to each service early so that they can meet the men that were at the club the night before.
Freeman, not all black women go to church. I for one, do not. The black community would prosper greatly if there were no religious institutions. “Chuch” turns black people into mindless sheep in need of exterior guidance, instead of people who are capable of using the brains the “good lod ” gave them.
“Chuchy” black women are my enemy. The lot of them are major hypocrites. They talk a good game about being good Christians yet they don’t hesitate to gossip, manipulate, and hurt those who are not like them. I find the black church soulless and uninspiring.
@Freedom – I’m sure all men know the GOD you serve and since GOD created everything he can’t help but to serve the Lord. So I guess any man you meet will do. You have a lot of choices. LOL
@UBJohn – I don’t know about all that but I know when I stayed on the East Coast it was easier to go to church. I could go to church and still make it back for the games. Now that I am on the west coast the game starts at 10am and I have to watch Joel Osteen or something. I’m in favor of saturday night church service I think that will be a breakthrough.
@Bizboo – I know not all women go to church its just the ones that do go outnumber the men by like 10 to 1. Now I can agree that religion seems to cloud our ability to discern things. It also helps us to justify our own weaknesses and grants others excuses as to why they cannot change. Well I don’t think the church has anything to do with women gossiping and the like. I have family who deal with these type of women in the workplace, at the beauty salon, and pretty much their whole life. The Black Church in my opinion has been taken over by the ignorant and thus anyone with half of a brain leaves it. The blind leading the blind but it’s still our fault for not fighting to take it over and lead them the right way. The Black Church is still a great vehicle to address change that effects us. We just have to get the dumbasses out of the leadership positions.
@Freeman…You got me fucked up homie any ole man won’t do lmao. Now, if he has a relationship with God like the men SAKing is taliking about then holla at a sistah LMAO!!!!
See we’re having some church up in here now calling ALL my my single fellas lol!!! Lord, please don’t strike me down.
By the way Joel Olsteen is the shit. I better stop cursing. i hope your mom doesn’t read this blog. Does she?
You ever notice how women in the Bible for the most part were subservient to men, and were treated as less than equals? Well, maybe they go to church because they like being treated that way deep down inside. I know it sounds crazy. But there are women who accept a man beating their ass as a show of eternal love.
@Freedom – you curse way more than me. Did you notice this was a curse free post? Joel Osteen is just a good news kind of guy plus like I said he fits my football schedule so 20 minutes of church is excellent. I think you need to wash your mouth out with soap you are getting foul. LOL
@Rippa – I don’t know about that statement because people don’t naturally like to be subservient. While the customs might force people into that position it doesn’t mean they enjoy it. Also, Women accept Men beating their ass because they can not stop it, if they could stop it they would. Yeah you’re right all of this sounds crazy.
Freeman, this is way off topic; but I have to disagree with you on why people get their asses beat in relationships. I specifically said “people” because as a cop friend once pointed out half of domestic violence victims are men. I realize that you can debate the severity and legal definition of “victim” ad nauseam to skew the numbers but at least directionally it’s a fact.
My point is that people have the choice to walk away or fight, it’s never because they have no other choice. Fight or flight is a basic instinct that I’m pretty sure everybody has. And as long as those victims have working feet or a knife within reach; they have options.
@Carl – No problem I’ll answer it. I know in your life you have seen or been in fights and you know like I know some people just are scared of the idea. Some people will cover up and pray for it to be over and some people will fight back. Now ask yourself how many women do you know who have been brawling since they were kids? Men we fight each other but women don’t usually fight through whole adolescent life.
Now I can agree some people need to snap out of it and fight back but I think it’s harsh to say they are not victims. Men don’t fight women because they don’t want to go to jail, they know they are the loser for even touching a woman. While women really aren’t stronger than your average guy and once they get hit they know it.
What the hell makes you think I’ve been fighting? I mean don’t I sound like a straight-up angel of goodness and sunshine to you?
Seriously, part of me understands the reality of what you’re saying based on a lot of women I’ve know over the years. But the larger part of me reverts back to the women in my family who have and continue to refuse to be victims. Trust me I realize that they are the exception. By the way they rarealy go to church.
@FreeMan…I know. Right? I guess I need to STOP all together. When I re-read what I had wrote I was dang! I wish i could take that back, but it was too late. Sorry for the profanity to and the other readers. I guess I went a little overboard huh? lol. My momma would beat my behind if she knew (shaking my head in shame). I will stop. Ok.
KUDOS to stillaking! For real.
m dot
@Carl – You’re a planner so you probably didn’t have to fight that much but it doesn’t mean you weren’t very prepared. Maybe the church should go after more battered women huh?
@Freedom – Let’s just keep the cursing to me. Remember people say the person who curses just doesn’t have the intelligence to say a better word. So let me be the ignorant one LOL
@MDot – I hope he comes back to see how many people appreciate his point of view.
@FreeMan-Ok.
In addition, another reason why I think women go to church is that we can admit to ourselves that we are humanly flawed and that we are in fact weak. Moreover, that we need God in order for us to replenish our strength. We know that we KNOW! God WILL do this for us.
@RiPPa… there is MANY successful women in the Bible that have held remarkable and outstanding positions that MEN honored and respected them for. I humbly suggest in your leisure time you sit down and read the Books of Esther and Ruth, and then stop by and read the Book of Proverbs 31:10-31. Moreover, just for research search out Deborah and read how she gently and wisely helped her husband the King in a battle. In fact, he would not move without seeking her advice. And, then follow your enlightenment session up with the Book of Ephesians 5:21-33 which instructs Wives and Husbands how they are supposed to treat one another. This material will get you started on SEEING women in the Bible a little differently.
-Freedom
Great post! My take is the church is a mirror of most of Black American homes. No man! So you find women doing what ever it’s calls for in order for both to strive and move forward. Once upon a time Black men would leave the fields and head straight to the church house. That’s just how important it was to him and his family. Maybe the same reason they are not in the home is the reason they aren’t in the church.
Ann, as you noted: once upon a time we were in the field. We’ve obviously moved far beyond that backward condition. Since the men are obviously somewhere; maybe it’s the women who are in the wrong place.
@ALL
To be quite honest, a lot of the responses here are quite disturbing….a very profound and thought provoking question was given, and numerous insensitive, under weight responses were given. Is this a microcosm of our way of thinking? BUILD, EXPAND, INTEGRATE
@Ann Brock – You are SO on target. Men did make that committment to their families and their church (sometimes considered the same) The women deserve more, and WE as men have failed. For some reason – QUITTING became a popular OPTION.
@RiPPA – Dont get it twisted. When you get to the part about a woman being humble and submitting to her husband – EPHESIANS; GOD did not intend for a woman to stand by idle and just serve her husband. The MAN is expected to serve GOD as the church is expected to serve the LORD. A woman will respect, follow and support a MAN unnconditionally due to his love and submission to the LORD. A MAN that finds a wife finds favor in the LORD.
SAK
@SAKing
O Lord, we are quick to judge,
Though much is veiled from sight;
Lord, may we see how just You are
To guide us in what’s right.
-D. De Haan
Well, my brother still a king said it all. A women who has a man who is submissive to God will never have a problem being submissive to him because she understands that the two are now one and that his footsteps are ordered by the Lord, therefore his walk and his talk are in line with God and he will never leave her nor forsake her for he has the heart of God. I believe thats what we as sistas are looking for at church.
@RiPPa…I had to sit down myself and think about what you said and you are partially right. Many women in/that go to church are taught the ONLY way that you can get a divorce from their husbands is if he commits adultery. And it is taught that we (women) should try to work it out before considering divorce. Thus staying and endure more beatings. I know this sounds crazy like you said but it is true in some churches. Thus, many women stay and endure the beatings Hoping and Praying that God will change this man that God had already warned us from the beginning NOT to marry. Also women really take their vows seriously (not sayong that men don’t but women usually do and stay to the bitter end (trust me on this because i know from experience because i in my marriage he didn’t beat my behind but we did have some physical and verbal fights. and i stayed thinking that God would change him and i tried to be nice to him and all that, but like i said before NOTHING WILL EVER WORK IF IT IS NOT ORDAINED BY GOD AND I KNEW IT BUT PROCEEDED WITH THE RELATIONSHIP ANYWAY. I tried to make my marriage work, but i finally took my way of escape) because we (women) or let me say Freedom understand that I had entered into a covenant relationship/agreement with God and this man.
And, many older women stayed with their abusive husbands thinking one day God would change him, plus what could they do for income? Remember women like blacks were only given our Civil Rights legally by the 1964 Civil Rights Act which was only passed 44 years ago.
@All – None of the arguments made me want to go to church. If I had to sit next to some of you guys in church and hear you spewing verses all day that would be the last time you saw me there. Nowhere in any religious book does GOD/ALLAH/JESUS/BUDDHA/MOSES say we need to congregate together. So there isn’t anything wrong with not going except societal norms and peer pressure from other churchy people. So there’s my reason as MAN why I don’t go to church. I personally believe men aren’t in church because the pastor/preacher/bishop/orator/slick talker doesn’t speak specifically to the problems men face.
Again this is my opinion so if you get mad what the hell do I care DEAL WITH IT!
Oh FreeMan, please don’t talk about the Bible if have NOT studied it! Contrary to your above statement the Bible does state in Hebrews 10:25 about “congregating together.” So since you went there I am about to spew the above bible verse to you.
(The Life Application Study Bible) Hebrews 10:25 “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner (habit) of some is; but exhorting (encouraging) one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”
Hebrew 10:25 “Some people have gotten out of the habit of meeting for worship, but we must not do that. We should keep on encouraging each other, especially since you know that the day of the Lord’s coming is getting closer.” http://www.biblegateway.com/
A Breakdown of the above scripture from the Life Application Study Bible of the above scripture: “To neglect Christian meetings is to give up the encouragement and help of other Christians. We gather together to share our faith and strengthen one another in the Lord. As we get closer to the day when Christ will return, we will face many spiritual struggles and even persecution. Anti-Christian forces will grow in strength. Difficulties should never be excuses for missing church services. Rather, as difficulties arise, we should make an even greater effort to be faithful in attendence.”
You know what? You don’t have to Care because guess what? All of us will keep on living with or without your attendence in church that’s between you and God. So please don’t say things that you obviously have NO clue about what your saying!
I AM TIRED. MY SPIRIT CAN’T TAKE NO MORE. SO YOU HAVE A NICE LIFE OK. GOD BLESS YOU!
@Freedom – First of all you are right about one thing it’s always been between myself and GOD so the fact that I don’t care should be self evident. Second if you read my comment the Bible does not make it mandatory for anyone to attend church, congregate or assemble in any manner. It does not say in any of your many Version(s) of that book that it is MANDATORY so the fact people don’t go is not a reflection on the type of person they are or a correct measuring stick to determine if they believe in your Version of GOD. Third, I have read and studied the bible as it was forced upon me, now I have never said I was a scholar (nor do I see a viable reason to do so), but A FOOL CAN READ A HANDBOOK 200 TIMES AND STILL NOT UNDERSTAND NOR BUILD ANYTHING! Fourth, as your quotes state if the reason you assemble is to prepare for the war against you then keep reading the Freeman Press because maybe just maybe GOD has divinely given me the same insight. I just won’t call mine a bible I’ll call mine the FreeMan Press and you don’t have to physically attend for me to know you are reading, ingesting and prospering from it.